Intake.

Today's Intake:

1 cup of coffee + 1/4 cup soy milk: 25 cals.

Seaweed soup made with 1 sheet Nori (10 cals.) and 1 green onion (18 cals.): 28 cals.

Small salad (Roughly 70 cals.) with 1 sheet Nori (10 cals.): 80 cals.

Total: 133 cals.

Exercise: 3 hours on the treadmill (3.5 mph)

Calories burned: 180 for every hour so 540 cals.

- H.

Betrayal of the body, betrayal of the mind.

I feel as though I live in a perpetual state of madness, there is a war raging inside of my body and mind but I'm not sure whose side I'm on.
There are parts of me, the selves of my self, that are fighting to consume; devour me whole and break my pretty heart in two.
I crave peace of mind if only for a moment, to breathe anew, to sigh in relief, to sleep, to think.
The question is, can I escape my own head long enough to allow it? I've slipped back into the comfort of being an introvert.
Outside the people are too loud, the light is surreal, the streets sway with the heatwave. I've dug a hole, six hundred feet deep and I don't remember which way is up.
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm saying anymore.
I...

- H.

Hiatus.

Just a quick update to say I haven't given up on this blog, I've just been going through a rough time and as soon as things settle down I can get back to updating daily.

- H.

"What I need is my mouth sewn shut".

Tell me all about, H.
I know exactly how you feel.
It's like you can go a full week without eating anything, nothing but a proper liquid fast, where you don't feel like eating at all, and it's bliss.
But then that week is over, and all you can think about is eating.

Wiring my jaw shut doesn't really sound that bad of an idea right now.
All I've had so far today was an apple, I wasn't really going for a diet, but it's 5:34 PM if I keep this up, I could probably go down a few pounds.

I will reach my ideal weight.
I will reach my ideal weight.
I will reach my ideal weight.

... The only time I'm content is when my stomach is empty.
I don't know how I got to think this way, but it's true, and I have to accept it.

Thin = Happy.

- W.