I fucked up yesterday and binged on french fries, who the fuck binges on french fries?
I disgust myself.
I started over today, so far I've only had iced green tea and cigarettes. So, I think I've got a hand on it. We'll see.
I woke this morning from a dream in which I held my ex girlfriend again, her dark hair fell messily around her face and she gazed at me lovingly.
I ached, my chest tightened even in my sleep I was shaken with grief.
Why does love have to destroy us so? Why must I dream of her every night when chances are I probably never cross her mind.
Dear god, I miss her so much these days I don't know what to do with myself.
Even now, after 5 months, I break apart just thinking of her.
I'm so messed up. I'm so fucking broken.
I just want to crawl out of my body for a while. I'm too heavy, I need to be weightless...I need to escape...
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