Your heart sank
Your body locks
The weight that you hail
Leaves cracks in the wall
You're safe
You're scared.
Starving never felt as easy as it does now, my stomach remains empty, my lungs are full of smoke.
I stumble through the halls at night, clinging to the plaster, trying to keep conscious as the dizziness engulfs me.
I smoke the hunger away, plumes of white that rise with my breath as I exhale. I exhale the good, inhale the bad.
The day brings sleep and the night I wake, dreamless, sleepless and leaden eyed.
Something inside of me breaks away, chips off my soul like dried paint.
A small voice whispers in my ear, seductively sweet, dangerously persuasive. "Starve on, starve on."
The ceaseless need to shrink away, to cave inward and escape my own skin.
Let the bones devour me, let them stand out sharply in protest again my very existence.
Let them see the pain I hold within, let them see the fragility of my sins.
I exist to desire the things that will destroy me in the end.
I exist to desire the things that will destroy me in the end.


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